Mindfulness-Based Everything: The Dharma of Daily Living

This blog will have a lot to say about what I term “the tightly clinging fist” to describe the primary mechanism that leads to suffering ( dukkha ). Our human tendency to cling to wanting things to be different than the way they are will be an underlying theme through many of the posts, so I want to present an introduction to this concept here. In the teachings of the Buddhadharma, and in particular, the Four Noble Truths, there is a lot of airtime given to the releasing of attachment and opening the tight fist of grasping. The Buddha knew, somehow, that this tendency to hold tightly to things is an inherent part of being human. In fact, it’s called the "grasp reflex," and  we are born with it . I teach that the entire Buddhadharma can be summed up in one movement of the hand: opening the tight clinging fist. Therefore, this will be one of the most important ideas throughout this blog, and the throughout the book that will be built from it. If you move an object, such as ...

(Originally Posted Thursday, November 5, 2009) The word "Dharma" has many meanings. For purposes of this blog, the Dharma I refer to usually indicates some relationship to the teachings of the Buddha ( Buddhadharma ). I also believe there is another dimension of Dharma that is much more difficult to translate into words because language can be clumsy. As Gustave Flaubert wrote in  Madame Bovary   (1928/1993), "Human speech is like a cracked kettle on which we tap crude rhythms for bears to dance to, while we long to make music that would melt the stars" (p. 180). This does not mean, however, that we should abandon attempts to render the subtler aspects of the Dharma into modern English. Here is one of my attempts from a journal entry on January 1, 2003: The Dharma is a unifying force, through which, and by which, everything is held together in perfect order and harmony. Dharma is always full and complete at all levels of existence, from   atomic to cosmic. There is ...

Losing threatens our sense of self. It echoes the baked-in fear that all humans share of annihilation. The fear of losing our identity is clearly on display in the words we use when we win. In sports we “wipe out” a rival team. In business we “blow away” the competition. In war the enemy is “obliterated.” We believe that only total victory will protect our precious and precarious self from being destroyed. UCLA football coach “Red” Sanders came up with the saying, “Winning isn’t everything; it’s the only thing.” If you spend just a few moments looking at this statement it is obvious that it is incorrect. We cannot “only” win. If winning is placed at the top of the pyramid as the essential ingredient for happiness, then our quotient of happiness will be determined by outside conditions. In order to really be happy, we must learn how to lose, and by doing so, we have the opportunity to discover true equanimity and have less suffering. Equanimity was defined by one of my teachers as...

(Originally Posted Friday, November 6, 2009) For the past six weeks, I have been facilitating two groups in a process called Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy, or MBCT, which is the adaptation of vipassana meditation to help prevent or minimize depressive relapse. In the first weeks of introducing the MBCT process to these groups, there inevitably arise comments that indicate a certain level of boredom with the various practices, such as the body scan or the sitting meditations. I am alsays a bit perplexed by these reports of boredom. I cannot think of having experienced it very much as an adult, although I'm sure I must have had periods of boredom as a child. For people with a history of depression, however, boredom can be an ugly demon that can suck them into a deep, downward spiral. When the British actor, George Sanders, committed suicide in 1972, the note he left read, in part, "Dear World, I am leaving because I am bored." This from a man who allegedly had seven p...

The great 20 th century teacher, Nisargadatta Maharaj was once asked, “What is the secret to happiness?” Nisargadatta replied, “It’s very simple: Want what you have and don’t want what you don’t have!” Simple, did you say? Hmmm… Simple, but not easy. It seems that most of us are rarely satisfied with what we have. We live in a familiar state of "if-then/If-only" mind that goes something like, " If I could only have this thing or that thing, then I would be happy." We can waste a lifetime stuck in this kind of mind-trap. Desire is often described in the Buddhadharma as the cause of dukkha , which is often translated as meaning “suffering.” However, there are nuances with this word from the Pali language, because those old languages were full of nuance. Dukkha indicates more of a sense of “dissatisfaction” or “unsatisfactoriness.” I’m dissatisfied with my car because it’s getting old, and I want a newer model. We might not characterize this as suffering in the ...

In early 2008, I was in a dark place in my life. My 7-year relationship had just ended badly, and I felt overwhelming guilt about my part in it. I was scheduled to take part in a silent retreat at the Insight Meditation Society in Barre, Massachusetts, and although I was in no mood for much deep reflection, I followed through with the commitment. While I sat in the days of practice, there was a discernible sense that I was in a state of free fall at that moment in my life. There was an old joke that it’s not the fall that kills you – it’s the sudden stop. My free fall never found this kind of resolution. At the retreat, I heard a teaching story about a man who was being chased by a tiger and tries to escape by jumping off a cliff. Providentially, there happened to be a little scrub tree growing out of the sheer face of the cliff, which the man was able to grab hold of. As he hung there by one arm, he could hear the tiger pacing back and forth just above him, and when he looked down, ...